I woke up this particular Sunday morning with a bout of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I took this verbiage from a military-related PTSD site to help provide an overview as PTSD is a common effect following military service:
Common signs and symptoms of PTSD include recurring memories or flashback of event. Different people react differently, however, re-experiencing the traumatic event and increasing anxiety and frustrations, anger and rage are very common symptoms of PTSD. These symptoms might not surface for many months, they may also come and go.”
Re-experiencing the trauma symptoms
Intrusive memories that interrupt everyday life
Flashbacks in which the person acts or feels like they’re in the middle of the event again
Reoccurring nightmares about the trauma
Intense distress or irritability when reminded of the event
Physical reactions, like rapid breathing, sweating, or nausea, when remembering or being reminded of the trauma
Increased distress as the anniversary of the event approaches
Feeling emotionally detached from others
Experiencing hopelessness about the future (“No one will ever love me” or “I know I’m going to die young”)
Inability to remember important aspects of the traumatic event
Arousal or anxiety symptoms
Bouts of moodiness or anger
Insomnia or difficulty staying asleep
A sense of being “on alert” or “on guard” (also called hyper-vigilance)
Developing a destructive addiction to alcohol, drugs, or even gambling
Suicidal thoughts or actions are another potential symptom of PTSD. If you or someone you love has thoughts of committing suicide, take them seriously and seek help immediately.
Fortunately, I don’t deal with the complete array of the above myself, but I often deal with these issues in my work helping my clients with spiritual healing. Some of the above are the effects of memories from this lifetime as well as other lifetimes and those memories can still affect them due to the unreleased emotional attachments.
The basis of my spiritual healing practice is clearing the cause of negative memories. Over the years, I have often cleared memories of serving in the military as well as war-related memories. The experience of PTSD can be experienced by anyone holding onto negative memories and emotions. When those memories are triggered, those flashbacks, even if only recognized in the subconscious, can bring up emotional trauma and some of the same reactions as expressed in the above list.
Another common group I have cleared negative memories of trauma include healer and light workers. They may have memories of past lives in the military but predominantly I clear past lives of persecution and martyrdom. As was demonstrated during the Salem Witch Trials, if you operated out of the acceptable norm, you could easily be targeted and eliminated. But, the violence in our history is enormous and the clearing of those memories continues because the effects of them have continued lifetimes.
I can’t tell you how many memories of hangings, torture, being burned at the stake, etc. I have cleared for people over the years, including many for myself. Those memories are what often hold people back today in doing their life’s work. Many have the unconscious fear of being persecuted again for using their gifts or expressing themselves fully. These fears hold people back from serving as they came here to do. They can’t benefit those they came here to serve nor make the money they would be able to make if they achieved the success possible.
In my case, this morning, I recalled a number of traumatic events I experienced this lifetime as a child. I was told these negative memories of darkness that continue to trouble me at times, were due to my calling of clearing the cause of darkness. I had to experience the effects of darkness to understand it in order to battle it. Apparently, it wasn’t sufficient to have experienced it in other lifetimes having those memories within my subconscious alone, but had to have conscious memory of it this lifetime for my understanding to be most effective at clearing it.
As a child, I could see aliens, angels, demons, and ghosts. Rather than just nightmares, I had literal experiences. Trying to go to sleep while a creature across the room with red piercing eyes starred at you was not an easy feat. Having demons pounce on me at night was not fun.
I shared this incident in “Clear Your Past and Change Your Future” when Archangel Michael and Jesus came to me asking me to clear three incidents of this lifetime. Jesus teased me saying that I would be surprised by one. He wasn’t kidding. They showed me the first incident as an infant with a beautiful angel standing over my crib. It turned out to be Lucifer in disguise, revealed when Archangel Michael appeared and I witnessed my first battle this lifetime between them. One lesson they wanted me to gain was that as a child I feared Michael as well as the darkness because when I saw him it was always when something was bad was occurring. I lived in a state of fear but it was time to let all that go.
I grew up being terrorized. Maybe it helped me grow into he warrior I became but it wasn’t fun nor easy. I learned to block much of it out gaining coping and managing skills to survive these childhood experiences.
I hadn’t equated those and other traumatic childhood experiences with my calling until after successfully clearing the cause of darkness. Ever since being relocated to Florida after my final battle with Satan, I have been recovering to an extent. God and my heavenly colleagues, as well as specifically approved healers, have helped me, along with my own healing capabilities, to help me recover from my battle scars of both my work and childhood experiences battling darkness. It was now time to explain as well as set me free from these traumas.
I couldn’t always do it for myself because I was too close to it and it was too horrific. When incidents are sometimes too traumatic, getting into the emotion directly to clear it for myself was too challenging especially if I was very effective at suppressing the memory. I remember one colleague being told by the angels that they wouldn’t show him or me what happened to me when I was around 6 because it would have been too hard on us to see. Another healer was helping me clear some issues and I remember mentioning that I smell something burning to which she responded “that is you burning at the stake”. The angels were protecting me from remembering while she cleared it much like my clients are protected from remembering their own traumas while I clear their subconscious negative memories and emotions to set them free from their remaining effects.
Sometimes remembering where the path of my calling took me, I access the unreleased emotions of the horrors I’ve experienced. When you spend much of your days clearing people’s negative memories of rape, murder, hangings, beheadings, war, torture, etc. from this lifetime or their previous ones, it can become wearing on the nerves. I go right there to the scene and can feel the emotions, ascertain the cause and effect and thoughts of all if necessary. I try to get in and out of the situation briefly identifying a situation to clear it but sometimes I can get caught up in the drama. I often just notice a hanging and then can clear the lifetime without more detail.
If there’s karma involved for the individual, I usually have to explain the whole story with necessary details to them so they get the lesson. At least they don’t have to experience the karmic lesson going forward when I show what happened to create the karma in the first place. But, dealing with darkness directly to get to the causal level has been the biggest challenge.
I Never Lost My Life
I’ll never forgot the day Archangel Michael told me how proud he was of me that I never lost my life during our work together. He said that even though he was relatively holding my, if I ever lost consciousness during one of those sessions going into the depths of darkness to clear it, I could have lost my life. He pointed out that I was on the brink many times. There were other occasions when the specific assignments almost cost me my life as well because of direct attacks on me from darkness. I am reminded of an incident that a demon came through the phone during a session when clearing for a client and went right for my throat.
I consciously said that I was willing to lose my life if it meant clearing the cause of darkness to alleviate the suffering on the planet. However, when he told me I was close to losing my life nine times, I questioned what I must have been thinking volunteering for this job. And, that was after having almost lost my life three times prior to beginning the work. I didn’t learn until later that there were efforts to intentionally take me out before I started the work as the opposition always knew who I was as well as my ultimate purpose. I discovered at one point that Satan had a curse on me that he would know who I was every lifetime I returned. Well, considering the incident previously mentioned of Lucifer at my crib, I guess they all knew who I was before I did.
Fortunately, now that the dark leadership is out of the picture, and we’ve cleared the cause of evil, I now only need to recover from my own trauma dealing with all this. The effects of evil remain, which is still something to be cleared up but my focus has been to heal myself. I am fortunate to have my team of 12 ascended masters and archangels that support me and my work in general. Usually when Archangel Michael, Jesus and Mother Mary show up together I know they want to do a healing on me. But, last Sunday I had a dozen that came for some reason. That included Jesus, Mother Mary, Horus, Melchizedek, and Archangels Metatron, Ariel, Uriel, Chamuel, Raphael, Raziel, Michael and, of course, Faith. There is a big push these days to get me focused on phase two of my work so they must really want me to recover from phase one before taking that on.
I am grateful that part of the job that created these traumas is largely over. I remember too vividly the last time I fought for my life. I was laying in bed with Jesus trying to give me his life force energy and it didn’t seem to help. Nothing we were trying seemed to help. I told God that if he wanted me to live, he had to figure out a way to get me up. The next thing I knew Michael came full force within my body and lifted me up. It still took me days to fully recover from that healing I did on darkness. At that point, however, I had enough. It wasn’t the last significant event but it was the last where I almost died due to the work.
Remembering these incidents can trigger emotions pertaining to those moments but fortunately these bouts don’t come often or stay long and that I have enormous help when they do. I wouldn’t be here without the Army of God and their assistance often in the most challenging moments dealing with darkness and my loving team who help me recover.